Note (12/2015): Hi there! I'm taking some time off here to focus on other projects for a bit. As of October 2016, those other projects include a science book series for kids titled Things That Make You Go Yuck! -- available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and (hopefully) a bookstore near you!

Co-author Jenn Dlugos and I are also doing some extremely ridiculous things over at Drinkstorm Studios, including our award-winning webseries, Magicland.

There are also a full 100 posts right here in the archives, and feel free to drop me a line at secondhandscience@gmail.com with comments, suggestions or wacky cold fusion ideas. Cheers!

· Categories: Physics
What I’ve Learned:

Double-slit experiments: where two holes make a 'whaaaat?'
“Double-slit experiments: where two holes make a ‘whaaaat?'”

Have you ever dated someone who wouldn’t make a damned decision? Where should we eat? “I dunno.” Which movie are we watching? “Whichever.” Should we get married and have kids and live happily ever after? “Meh. We’ll decide later.”

Well, that’s what the universe is like. And the double-slit experiment is one of the clearest proofs.

Think about light. Light is kind of an important part of the universe; it’s the whipped cream on the cosmic sundae. Without light, there’d be no suntans or iPads, and we’d all be stubbing our toes in the dark every time we turned around.

So light is kind of a big deal, and physicists have studied it for hundreds of years. Back in the 1600’s, Isaac Newton — he of the fabulous hair and apple-induced concussions — thought that light was made up of tiny little particles, which eventually became known as photons.

And for a hundred-plus years, the universe said, “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Every time scientists studied light, it behaved like a beam of little particles. Up until the early 1800s, that is, when physicist Thomas Young shone light through a pair of slits in a barrier, and watched the universe get wishy-washy.

Here’s the issue: if light is made up of particles — like a stream of paintballs, say — and you fire a bunch of those at a wall with two holes in it, then you’ll end up with just two spots of paint on the other side, right behind the holes.

Also, you’ll have a very messy wall. Mom is going to be pissed.

But what if light was made up of waves? Imagine water flowing through a dam with two holes. The water would only make it through the gaps — but then it would spread out, with the ripples from each side flopping into each other, creating a network of peaks and troughs called an interference pattern. That’s the pattern Young saw in his double-slit experiment, and he proclaimed that light is composed of waves.

To which the universe replied, “Eh, maybe.”

This is where things get really goofy. First of all, it’s not just light that behaves in this waffly way; double-slit experiments work with electrons, atoms and some molecules — or basically all the stuff our toes and iPads and suntans are made of.

But worse — what happens when you push, for instance, a single electron at a wall with two slits? Why, you get a single spot on the other side, just like the damned thing was a microscopic stupid paintball.

The universe doesn’t know which tie looks better. You decide.

And if you shoot a bunch of electrons at those slits, one by one — do you get two patches of light on the other side, since those individual electrons clearly act like particles? Nope. Eventually you get the very same interference pattern you would if you opened the floodgates up front.

Now the universe is just shrugging at you. And laughing behind your back.

In many ways, double-slit experiments — both physical and thought-experiment variations like those proposed by Richard Feynman — have helped to shape modern ideas about quantum mechanics, and the probabilistic nature of reality those theories suggest.

All of which is to say, if you’re ever stuck on a really important life decision like where to live or which job to take or whether that toe you stubbed in the dark might be broken — don’t ask the universe.

It hasn’t made a damned decision in three hundred years.

Actual Science:
Florida State University / Optical Microscopy PrimerThomas Young’s double-slit experiment
University of Oregon / 21st Century ScienceTwo-slit experiments
PhysicsWorldFeynman’s double-slit experiment gets a makeover
Physics arXiv Blog / MediumPhysicists smash record for wave-particle duality
io9An experiment that might let us control events millions of years ago

Image sources: Physics World (double-slit pattern), SweetJack (splatter wall), GearCrave (“Which tie, universe?”), QuickMeme (unsure Fry [standing in for the universe])

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· Categories: Biology, Chemistry
What I’ve Learned:

Micelles: when the heart wants what the head hates.
“Micelles: when the heart wants what the head hates.”

Contrary to popular belief, a micelle is neither an expensive French pastry nor that nice lady currently living in the White House. Instead, a micelle is a clump of wishy-washy molecules called surfactants that can’t make the simplest decisions and probably never see any good action movies.

I’ll back up.

We have love-hate relationships with all sorts of things. Semi-sweet chocolate. That non-frozen yogurt full of bacteria that tastes like armpits. Tom Cruise.

Consider the Cruise. He makes some good movies — and a lot of okay movies — but by most accounts, he’s kind of a schmuck. Also, I think he worships Alf from that ’80s TV show; I’m not so clear on the details. The point is, your heart and your head — and any other organ you invite to the discussion — can rightfully disagree on how you feel about Tom Cruise. And they’ll disagree often, because he’s everywhere. You can’t swing a dead thetan without smacking some new movie, rerun, interview, gossip rag or ironic T-shirt featuring wee Mr. Cruise. He’s practically ubiquitous.

And that’s how surfactants feel about water, a substance almost as ubiquitous as Tom Cruise — although Waterworld really hurt its career.

(Oh, let’s face it. Water hasn’t done a really good flick since Splash. It’s been treading itself ever since.)

Back to surfactants. These are stringy little molecules with separate “head” and “tail” regions. They’re amphiphilic, which just means that one end is attracted to water (or is “hydrophilic”) and the other is repelled by water (aka, “hydrophobic”). They’re like schizophrenic Frosted Mini-Wheats, minus the wheat. And the frosting. And the talking commercial mascot.

(It’s not a perfect analogy. Breakfast cereals can only teach us so much.)

If you dropped one surfactant molecule into a pool of water, it might well go crazy. The water-hating end would flop around, trying to get away, while the water-loving side would soak it all in. All confuzzled, it might contort or explode or lock itself in its room and write awful goth poetry.

But dump a whole bunch of surfactant molecules into water, and they make a plan. The water-repelled ends huddle up and glom together, drawing the water-attracted ends around them on the outside. The result is a big ball called a micelle, with all the brave hydrophilic bits exposed to the water, and the tender hydrophobic bits safely tucked inside.

(Yes, that’s basically the plot to the second half of 300. I’m telling you, water is really clutching at straws for good ideas these days.)

So why are micelles important? Well, they’re how detergents work, for starters. Soaps can pull dirt and nasty bits that wouldn’t normally dissolve in water into the center of their micelles and carry them away. From Dawn to Tide to Irish Spring, micelles make things cleaner.

More important, micelles are critical for life. There’s a lipid bilayer forming basically a big micelle (though technically a “liposome”) around every living cell; it’s called a cell membrane, and all our important DNA and enzymes and junk would leak out without it. Smaller micelles are formed in cells to push or pull in materials, including several vitamins (A, D, E and K) that we couldn’t process otherwise. And scientists can create artificial micelles to deliver drugs into cells directly.

So the next time you feel torn about some wacko celebrity, don’t let it get to you. Tom Cruise won’t live forever (probably), and if you had the same inner conflict about water, you’d never leave the house. Or bathe. Or make a decent cup of coffee.

But micelles make wishy-washy work. And they’ve never even seen Top Gun. Respect.

Actual Science:
Elmhurst CollegeMicelles
Frontiers in PharmacologyPolymeric micelles for drug delivery
Chemistry ExplainedSoap
Idaho Milk ProductsWhat is a casein micelle?
Lab MuffinWhat is micellar water and how does it work?

Image sources: University Federico II (micelle model), DC Dental (Tom Cruise), Business Insider (weepy Mini-Wheat), Chemistry in Your Cupboard (hot detergent action)

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· Categories: Astronomy, Physics
What I’ve Learned:

Hypervelocity stars: what happens in the galaxy doesn't always stay there.
“Hypervelocity stars: what happens in the galaxy doesn’t always stay there.”

Many things move at a proverbial “million miles an hour”. Vacation days. Your heart, when a hot-bodied stranger in a swimsuit walks by. And your gossipy friends’ mouths, telling everyone how you drool over hot-bodied swimsuited strangers on your vacation.

You knew you should have never invited them to Cancun. Live and learn, gringo caliente. Live and learn.

Some things that don’t literally move that fast are stars. Sure, stars are usually clustered into galaxies, and galaxies zoom around the void at a million miles an hour or more — depending on which other bits of celestial fluff you measure them against. But the stars are just along for the ride; relative to their host galaxies, they don’t reach those insane kinds of speeds.

Except when they do.

The universe is full of exceptions — even Keanu Reeves made that one good movie once — and turbocharged stars are interesting examples. Known as hypervelocity stars, they whip around at speeds up to two million miles per hour, relative to galactic speed.

That’s like gunning a Ferrari down the highway and being overtaken by a cruise missile. Even your motormouth vacation friends can’t keep up that pace.

Hypervelocity stars are fairly new to astrophysics — predicted in 1988, and first observed in 2005. There are only a handful known to exist, mostly because confirming their speed requires measurements over a period of decades. We can’t exactly set up a speed trap and flash these things with a radar gun as they zoom past.

The really interesting thing about hypervelocity stars is that they move so fast, they can reach the escape velocity of their galaxies. Meaning, instead of swirling around in a galactic spiral forever like our boring old sun, these stars break completely free of galactic gravity and ping off into interstellar space, never to be heard from again.

(Maybe somebody could have pitched that to Keanu Reeves after the first Matrix. I’m just saying.)

What we don’t know for sure is how these stars get all hypervelocitized in the first place. But two theories explain the current observations pretty well.

It’s thought that some hypervelocity stars are formed near our galactic center, where a supermassive black hole looms. Computer models say if a binary system — two stars closely orbiting each other — got caught in the black hole’s clutches, one could be sucked in while the other is flung outward at ridiculous speed. Like a marble fired from a slingshot shot out of a cannon mounted on a jet plane. Times a lot.

The other, equally violent, theory also involves binary systems. Only in this scenario, the partner star isn’t stuffed into a black hole; instead, it goes supernova — exploding so catastrophically that it accelerates the surviving star to supergalactic speeds.

Either way, the presence of a hypervelocity star means that things went terribly, terribly wrong for that star’s old flame. So basically, if your sweetie ever tells you he or she wants to become a hypervelocity star some day, you should pack your bags and leave. Like, yesterday.

You can always take a rebound trip to Cancun. Your friends may gossip, but at least none of those swimsuited hotties are going to explode you or unceremoniously stuff you down a black hole. That kind of shit only happens in Las Vegas.

And apparently, all around the Milky Way. Stellar breakups are a bitch, yo.

Image sources: Tech Guru Daily (hypervelocity star), El Horizonte (beach bods), Oh No They Didn’t! (fast Keanu), Universe Today (binary breakup)

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· Categories: Biology, Chemistry, Genetics
What I’ve Learned:

PCR: Putting polymerase to good use since 1983.
“PCR: Putting polymerase to good use since 1983.”

The polymerase chain reaction, or PCR, is perhaps the most important laboratory technique in modern genetics. And let’s face it — there aren’t a hell of a lot of “olde-time genetics” to compare with. You don’t see prehistoric cave paintings of chromosomes, is all I’m saying.

And while “polymerase chain reaction” is a scary-sounding mouthful, you can break it down with just a little bit of background. So simple, even a cave painter could understand it.

First things first: PCR was invented back in 1983. One PM (PST), a PHD from the PAC-10, high on PCP, was driving his POS down the PCH with his PYT and poof! PCR just popped into his head.

(Of course, that’s not precisely true. Serious science doesn’t work that way.

He was actually on LSD. So… um, yeah.)

Origins aside, here’s how the polymerase chain reaction works. Under normal conditions, DNA is double-stranded — two strings of genomic sequence wound around each other. But like cheap glue, tight leather pants and bad combovers, when DNA gets hot enough, it comes apart at the seams.

In organisms, there’s a class of enzymes that uses one strand of DNA as a template and builds the complementary strand, producing a new double-stranded DNA sequence. These enzymes are called polymerases — the ‘P’ in PCR — and we wouldn’t be here without them.

(For that matter, neither would fish or philodendrons or athlete’s foot fungus. The job polymerases do, synthesizing sequence from DNA templates, is important for copying genes, making proteins and pretty much everything else a growing cell needs. Which is the only kind of cell there is, really.)

The ‘chain reaction’ part of PCR is performing this process over and over in the lab. With a little molecular juggling, scientists can snip out or “prime” most any sequence for PCR, then produce millions upon millions of copies by cycling through heating and copying, heating and copying, until they’ve made all the DNA they need.

See? Polymerase chain reaction, just like it says. Simple. Ish.

The tremendously useful thing about PCR is, it works on just about any snippet of DNA a researcher might get hot and scientifically-horny about. And each cycle doubles the amount of sequence, give or take a kilobase. You can set up a machine in the evening with some barely-there scrap of genetic fluff, and come back in the morning to bucketfuls of DNA to play with.

Well, not actual bucketfuls. Biochemical bucketfuls. Everything’s relative. But it’s plenty.

So what is PCR used for? At this point, pretty much everything that involves DNA. You name it — mutation screening, DNA fingerprinting, tissue typing, genetic mapping, invasive virus and bacteria detection, parental testing, gene sequencing, genetic mapping and more. Basically, when biochemists do anything past making coffee in the lab, it usually includes PCR.

Of course, scientists don’t actually make coffee in the lab.

Not unless they’re on LSD, anyway. So… um, yeah.

Actual Science:
Science MagazinePCR and cloning
University of UtahPCR virtual lab
National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI)PCR
NobelPrize.orgThe PCR method – a DNA copying machine
Genetic Engineering and Biotechnology News (GEN)PCR @ 30: the past, the present and the future

Image sources: UFPE (Brasil) Disciplina de Genetica (PCR), John West (combover), Andrew Wittman and A Time for Such a Word (DNA buckets) and The Premature Curmudgeon (Albert Hofmann / LSD science)

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· Categories: Astronomy, Physics
What I’ve Learned:

Exoplanets: When one Earth just isn't mega-super enough.
“Exoplanets: When one Earth just isn’t mega-super enough.”

Our planet is pretty okay, as far as it goes. Sure, we’ve come up with stir fry, chili cheese fries and Stephen Fry — but are we really being the best Earth we can be? Some astrophysicists make me wonder.

In particular, the astrophysicists scouring the visible cosmos for worlds circling other stars. Or in a word: exoplanets.

(Don’t let the “ex” part throw you. These are not planets who used to date Earth, then got upset when Earth made googly eyes with Venus, or slept over in the house of Mercury after a sexy session of grab and terrestrial tickle.

Rather, exoplanets are those big hunks of stuff that spin around a star that isn’t the one we happen to circle. Sorry, “Real Housewives of the Solar System” fans. It’s not like that.)

These world-watchers have detected nearly two thousand exoplanets to date, with more on the celestial radar all the time. And until recently, there were pretty well-defined rules for what these faraway planets look like. Basically, planets came in two flavors: rocky and gassy.

(Yes, just the two. Extrasolar planets are interesting. Nobody ever said they were Baskin-Robbins.)

When planets reach a certain size, they tend to accumulate gasses like hydrogen, helium, carbon dioxide or nitrogen. Scientists believed that any planet heavier than about ten Earth masses would largely be composed of gas pulled in by the hefty planet’s enormous gravity. The “gas giants” in our own solar system — Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune — follow this formula precisely.

Smaller planets, on the other hand, are usually big round balls of rock. Venus, Mars and Mercury all fit this bill, in addition to the hunk of dirt we’re currently riding. As do a number of discovered exoplanets — but only those on the smaller side.

When these exoplanets are the same size-ish as Earth, they’re called “Earth-like”, but that only means that these worlds are generally the same shape and density. There’s no guarantee the inhabitants of any “Earth-like” planets have, for instance, independently invented Happy Hour or Taco Tuesday or Rice-A-Roni, the interstellar San Francisco treat.

(And without those things, how “Earth-like” could those planets be, really?)

The planets significantly bigger than Earth but smaller than our solar system’s gas planets are often called “super-Earths”. Technically, the super-Earth set is a mixture of rocky and gaseous planets, depending on the size and density of each. Like the saying goes, some super-Earths are like your Mars, and some are like Uranus.

(That’s not a saying? Well, it should be.)

The super-Earth label doesn’t mean these worlds are necessarily extra-special. It would be great if some “super”-Earth came up with even tastier chili cheese fries, or a Stephen Fry wittier than a speeding bullet. Or maybe a stir fry that stirred itself. But no. We’re on our own for those.

Recently, though, scientists discovered a new sort of planet that’s thrown them for an orbital ellipse. Named Kepler-10c, it’s a planet orbiting a star about 560 light years away. It appears to be made of rock — but its seventeen times more massive than Earth. The theory said it should be full of gas, but there it was when they looked — solid through and through, mooning us through our telescopes and thumbing its rocky core at us. Scientists have dubbed this jacked-up behemoth a “mega-Earth”, and it’s the only one of its kind yet known to exist.

Personally, I’d have gone with “Andre the Planet”. This is probably why I never get invited to any astrophysicist parties. Maybe this isn’t such a “super Earth”, after all.

Image sources: Space.com (planet parade), Metro UK (feathery Fry), Orange County Mexican Restaurants blog (Taco Simpsons) and Crustula (Andre with a whole world in his hand [a whole world in his hand])

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